


Sleeping Bones

by blackrose_17



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fairy Tales, Halloween, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-30
Updated: 2012-10-30
Packaged: 2017-11-17 09:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose_17/pseuds/blackrose_17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The crew of the Enterprise finds themselves trapped in the fairytale of Sleeping Beauty where Prince Jim must awaken the sleeping Bones with a kiss. Guess who is less than thrilled at being cast as the sleeping Princess?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleeping Bones

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: RoyalLadyEmma  
> Written for the Jim and Bones Halloween costume challenge

As Captain of the Enterprise, James T. Kirk was used to being in strange situations but this was one of the strangest he'd ever encountered. After an ordinary night of eating dinner and going to bed, he awoke to find himself lying in a forest dressed in what could only be described as a fairy tale prince's outfit. Discovering that he wore a sharp sword on his side and that a white horse stood grazing next to him, Kirk could only think of one thing to say, "Huh; well, this is weird."

 

An angry ball of pink zoomed up suddenly and hovered in front of Jim's face. "You think this weird? At least you're not a bloody fairy!"

 

It took several minutes before Jim managed to say anything; he was afraid that if he opened his mouth he'd burst into roaring laughter. Finally, he managed to keep a straight face long enough to say, "Hikaru? Is that really you? Why are you dressed like a pink fairy?" Jim studied his helmsman, normally a fairly dignified man, who was now wearing a dainty, frilly, head-to-toe pink outfit complete with a tall pointy hat and fairy wings.

 

Unable to contain himself any longer, Jim did the same thing everyone else would have done and he burst into gales of laughter, loud, straight-from-the-belly laughter that would have been contagious if anyone else had been there to join in.

 

Hikaru Sulu scowled deeply as he watched his captain continue to laugh for several minutes. “Are you done yet?” Sulu asked very crossly, tapping his tiny little fingers on his little forearm with annoyance.

 

Jim held up a hand, signaling that he needed a moment to collect himself before he could speak. In response, Sulu’s scowl grew deeper and deeper, until the usually easy-going pilot's patience snapped. “Will you stop that! This is not funny! I’m dressed as a pink fairy and you’re dressed as a goofy-looking prince from a fairy tale! We need to find out where we are and how we got like this!"

 

That got Jim to stop laughing as he turned a pout onto Hikaru. “You really think I look goofy? I thought I looked rather dashing myself.” His tone indicated that Sulu had really hurt his feelings, but the helmsman didn't fall for it.

 

'I cannot kill my Captain no matter how annoying he is acting.' Sulu silently chanted over and over again, repeatedly telling himself the obvious. Unfortunately, it clearly wasn't working since the feeling of murderous rage was still there, simmering just beneath the surface of his pretty pink skin.

 

Luckily, though, Jim was saved from certain death by the arrival of two new balls of light, one each of blue and green.

 

“Oh, come on now! This just isn’t fair!” Hikaru would swear he wasn't pouting as Christine and Uhura joined them, but the very sight of his friends, both dressed in just as feminine an outfit as his own, was just too much to bear.

 

"Why am I the pink fairy and you're the green and blue ones? How is that fair!" Tiny pink sparks flew from Hikaru's wings as they fluttered madly. He refused to admit that he was pouting, no matter what Jim would tell people later.

 

Uhura merely raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest. "And why should I be the pink fairy? Because I'm a female?" The tone in her voice warned him to tread very carefully when he answered.

 

There was a reason why Christine was still Bones' head nurse despite years of putting up with his growling temperament; she didn't take any gruff from anyone. She narrowed her eyes at Hikaru. "I would think very carefully about your answer, Lieutenant; remember, I have access to medical supplies and I know how to use them."

 

Having worked with both women long enough to know when he was skating on the edge of serious trouble, Hikaru easily recognized the tone of danger in their voices. Knowing that the wrong answer would spell his doom, and so he offered up very weak response coupled with a sickly smile, "Because you look so much better in pink than I ever could?"

 

"Ach, you've step in it now, laddie. That'd be two dangerous women you've pissed off." Although much welcomed, Scotty's normal brogue sounded odd and the Scotsman was nowhere in sight.

 

Jim felt a tug on his pant leg and upon looking down, he found three fluffy bunnies sitting there and looking up at him. "Scotty? Is that you?" Jim had to stifle a giggle as he took in their long floppy ears and their pink twitchy noses.

 

The brown bunny shook his head sadly. "Aye, Captain, tis me, along with Chekov and Commander Spock."

 

Jim blinked rapidly, not sure if he was actually seeing what he thought he was seeing. "Spock... are you a talking bunny?"

 

Even as an adorable fluffy black bunny, Spock still managed to raise an eyebrow. "Indeed it would seem so, Captain."

 

Chekov was over the moon with his new look, which included sleek white fur, a fluffy little tail and long elegant whiskers. "Look, Hikaru! I'm an adorable bunny!" Smiling broadly, he hopped over to his boyfriend and looked up at the small pink fairy with open adoration in his eyes. "Wow," he sighed, "you are so pretty!"

 

Mollified by the love he saw in his boyfriend's eyes, Hikaru had to admit that Chekov was very adorable as a small white bunny and he decided to take a little break. Fluttering down to rest of Chekov's back, he settled in and started stroking the silky fur between Chekov's ears.

 

Kirk suddenly stopping paying attention to what was going on around him as one important and vital fact came to the front of his mind. "Where's Bones?" He looked around frantically, hoping that the medic just happened spoken up yet.

 

"Well, seeing as we're trapped in a bizarre fairy tale, with Nyota, Hikaru and myself as the fairies, Chekov, Scotty and Commander Spock as the talking animals and you, Captain, as the prince, I would guess that there's only one role left for Doctor McCoy." Christine fought the urge to giggle as she figured out just who Bones would be.

 

"Ah!" A mischievous light entered Jim's blue eyes and curved his lips into a delighted smile. "So Bones is cast as the princess, huh? Well, what are we waiting for then? Let's go save him!" Jim pulled out his sword with a dramatic motion and he used it to point in the direction of the only castle to be seen for miles. "Hey, do you think Bones will be wearing a dress?" Even though it was an afterthought, it was easy to see that it was the one he was focusing on.

 

*****

 

"God damn it! Why am I the freaking princess?!" Bones roared angrily as he ripped off his long black wig and sparkly golden crown. Stomping over to the full-length mirror, glared balefully at his reflection; he'd woken up to find that he was wearing a long-sleeved princess gown in soft blue velvet. A quick search of the room showed him that there was no other clothing in the over-the-top princess room he found himself in.

 

"You're the princess because first of all, you look so damn good in the dress and second, I have already cast your Captain as Prince Charming." Bones frowned as he heard an unfamiliar voice behind him.

 

Whirling around, Bones found himself face-to-face with a dark-haired young woman he's never seen before. She was dressed in what could only be described as a fairy tale villain's outfit. including a long cape and a magical staff. "Who the hell are you?"

 

Her hazel eyes sparkling with mischief, the woman just smiled mysteriously. "That will be revealed at the end of our little story, but for now..." Her voice trailed off as she snapped her fingers and suddenly Bones let out a jaw-cracking yawn as his eyes grew heavy.

 

"What did you...yawn... do to me?" he drawled out in a voice heavy with sleep.

 

The woman just smiled at him. "You have a role to play, my dear Leonard, and that is to await true love's kiss." She watched as the man gave up his struggle to stay awake and he slumped to the floor in a deep sleep. With another snap of her fingers, Leonard's limp body floated up into the air and across the room until he was gently laid to rest on the bed. With a wicked grin, she pointed to the flower vase and sent a single rose to lie between his folded hands.

 

Satisfied that everything in the room was perfect, the mysterious woman smiled happily. "Time to be bad," she murmured, and with a final snap of her fingers, she vanished into thin air, leaving nothing behind but the faint scent of her perfume.

 

*****

 

The journey to the distant castle was not filled with hardship as the Enterprise crew had expected; in fact, it turned out to be a rather pleasant stroll. "Does anyone else think it's a little strange that we haven't run into some kind of danger? Aren't fairytales usually full of monsters and things?" Hikaru spoke up from his spot on Chekov's back.

 

From atop his horse, Jim looked down at him. "I really don't know, I've never actually read any of them. But, I also really don't care; the smoother the ride the faster we can find Bones." Despite his silliness of his outfit, Jim wore a serious expression, and they could hear the pure worry in Jim's voice. It made the rest of them wonder when the two men would stop side-stepping their feelings and finally admit that they loved each other.

 

Nestled comfortably in the soft fur between Scotty's shoulders, Nyota favoured her captain with a soft smile. “I’m sure Leonard is just fine. He is most likely already complaining about how long this rescue is taking.”

 

Jim couldn’t help but smile as he easily pictured the angry curl to his doctor’s lips as he demanded to know, ‘what the hell took you so damn long?’ "You're prob..."

 

“So you’re the brave Captain James T. Kirk? I must admit you are prettier than I thought you would be.” An unfamiliar voice purred, interrupting Jim's response. Without warning, a striking woman dressed in classic black robes of a villain appeared in front of them. She leaned on a tall magic staff and favoured them all with a beguiling smile.

 

Bones' rescue party came to such a sudden and grinding halt that Chekov actually smacked his bunny face into Scotty's furry behind and as one they all stared at the newcomer. “Who the hell are you? And where is Bones?” Jim demanded as he leapt from his horse and heroically drew his sword.

 

“And what is with that outfit? You look like a Disney Planet reject!” Christine raised an eyebrow and smirked broadly as the mystery woman glared at her.

 

The woman dismissed Christine's comments with an imperious wave of her hand. “Who I am is of no importance. What is important, Captain, is that the one who holds your heart now lies under a spell, one that can only be broken by true love’s kiss. This curse will become permanent the moment the sunset and he will sleep through eternity and beyond."

 

Fear gripped Jim’s heart with a tight grip. “Tell me where Bones is or I’ll run you through with my sword!” he snarled and brandished his blade. Sunlight glinted off the highly polished metal and cast eerie designs across her black clothing.

 

A cruel smirk curled her lips. “You can’t kill me, Jimmy-boy, however, I can make your task a lot more difficult.” With a snap of her fingers, the road to the castle instantly became shadowed by a dark and forbidden forest. “Tick tock, Captain, time's a-wasting.” With a cackle of laughter even the evilest of witch would have envied, the mysterious woman was gone.

 

Jim stared at the forest; he would have sworn it was closing in on them, and against his will, he shivered. “All right, crew, you heard the crazy lady, let’s go save Bones!” Giving his horse a good-bye pat, he sheathed his sword and with his shoulders squared, he took a step into the forest.

 

A long-suffering sigh escaped Uhura’s lips. “Come on, we'd better keep up with him; you know if there's trouble in there, he’ll get himself into it.”

 

Knowing Uhura was right, the rest of the crew – well, not Spock, of course – let out exasperated sighs and followed their captain into the darkness.

 

*****

 

After what felt like forever but was actually only a couple of hours later, our valiant heroes emerged from the forest, filthy and covered in a mixture of mud, dirt, grime, twigs and leaves. Jim scowled regretfully at the long rip in his cape. He liked the cape; he thought it made him look rather dashing and he wanted Bones to see him wearing it. He turned to Spock; “Remind me to ban all books on board my ship that contain fairy tales because they are all filled with filthy lies! The dashing hero does not arrive unharmed!”

 

“Indeed, Captain.” Spock knew that Jim didn’t mean it, his worry about the fate of their good doctor was clouding his judgement. ‘I have a feeling the Captain will have forgotten all about this in a week.’ The Vulcan also knew that Nyota and the rest of the female crew would never allow the captain to rob them of their beloved stories of romantic adventure and true love.

 

“Well, you certainly took your sweet time. The sun has nearly set, which means you won’t get to fight the dragon.” Their mysterious tormenter appeared before them, standing there with her hands on her hips and a pout on her face.

 

Hikaru, already on edge over having to be a pink fairy, shot forward and hovered before her. His little wings were beating a mile a minute, a clear indication of his emotional state. “Listen you crazy lady, what gives you the right to play with us like this? And why the hell did you make me the pink fairy?!” His tiny fairy body quivered with indignation.

 

Certain that Sulu had just doomed himself, everyone held their breath and Jim drew his sword and fell into a fighting stance. He was ready to save Hikaru from the crazy but powerful woman who had them all trapped in a whacked-out version of Sleeping Beauty.

 

To everyone’s amazement the woman let out a throaty little giggle and smiled at them all. “I’m doing this because I can, you pretty little thing. I'm doing this because I'm bored, and finally, I'm doing this because the legendary romance between James T. Kirk and Leonard McCoy has always fascinated me." She winked at Sulu and poked at him with her finger, making him buzz backwards out of her reach. "As for why you're the pink fairy my dear Hikaru, it's because you look so damned cute when you're pissed off!”

 

Listening to their villain mock his boyfriend, Chekov let out a deep growl, which sounded very adorable coming from such a fluffy little bunny. “Hikaru’s mine, so keep away from him or I’ll bite you!”

 

Rather than feeling threatened by Chekov's words, the woman just clapped her hands in delight. “Oh, you are just so cute! Don’t you worry, my adorable rabbit, I’m not after your man.” A knowing look entered her eyes as she turned to face Kirk, “Speaking of men, however, you might want to hurry, Captain; the sun has begun to set.” She pointed behind him.

 

Whirling around in dread, Jim felt his heart tighten in his chest as he realised that the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon. Without sparing a word he took off in a dead run for the castle.

 

“He’s in the tower, Captain,” the woman called out helpfully as she watched him disappear down the path. Sighing dramatically, she turned to face the others. “The story will end the moment he kisses his dear old Bones and then you’ll all be back to normal,” she promised. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have some delicious man-on-man action to watch.” With a broad wink and snap of her fingers, she was gone leaving a very confused Enterprise crew behind her.

 

*****

 

Sweeping dramatically through open the door to the tower chambers, Jim leaned against the doorjamb, trying to catch his breath. “Bones! I’m here to rescue you!” he declared heroically. “How the hell do real fairy tale princes do this all the time?” he huffed. He would admit he was a little winded but what really took his breath away was the sight of Bones lying in peaceful repose and bathed in sunlight.

 

Jim didn't think he'd ever seen a more beautiful sight than his beloved Bones sleeping peacefully and dressed as a fairy tale princess awaiting true love’s kiss.

 

As if in a trance, Jim slowly but surely moved forward until he was kneeling next to Bones. Bracing his hands on the bed he lowered his head until his lips connected with Bones’. Pouring all the love he felt for his best friend into his kiss, Kirk pleaded silently, ‘Please let this work! I want to kiss you when you’re awake.' He deepened his kiss; 'I need to tell you I love you!’

 

Slowly Jim felt the slack mouth beneath his begin to return his kiss and he moved a hand up to cup Bones’ cheek. Deepening their kiss even further, he couldn’t help but smile as Bones’ arms came to wrap around him deepening his side of the kiss as well. They were so lost in the magic of their first kiss that they never noticed the bright light that surrounded them and they certainly never noticed that the fairy tale world faded away to be replaced by the reality of the Enterprise's bridge.

 

“Well, since the spell has been broken, I can safely say that that was indeed true love’s kiss that.” Scotty’s slightly amused voice was what finally forced them to break apart.

 

A scowl graced Bones’ face when he saw the woman who had dressed him as a princess sitting in the Captain’s chair. “All right, no more games! Who the hell are you?” he snarled ferociously. 'You know, that would probably have been much more intimating if Jim had released me and we'd gotten up off the floor.'

 

Ignoring McCoy's discomfort, the woman smiled brightly as she glanced at the bridge crew. "I'm Lady Q and you, my friends, are so very interesting. I'm going to have so much fun playing all of you." Lady Q gave them a jaunty little wave before she snapped her fingers and was gone.

 

“Spock, make sure we inform our mutual friend about the 'Q'’s. I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of her.” Jim just hoped that Older Spock had some knowledge of these 'Q'’s that he was willing to share with them.

 

“Certainly, Captain.” Spock knew that whoever the 'Q'’s were, they were very powerful. 'This time it was a fairytale but who knows what they may do in the future. This is something that needed to be looked into immediately.'

 

“Um... Jim? Do you plan on getting off me any time soon?” Bones softly reminded Jim that they were still lying within one another's arms.

 

Jim turned back to face Bones and tightened his grip on him. “Nope! I finally have you in my arms and I have no plans on letting you go anytime soon! And besides," he batted his blue eyes at Bones. "The Princess always rewards her brave Prince with a kiss." This was Jim’s way of laying his heart on the line.

 

Bones rolled his eyes. 'It's not that I mind kissing you and being held against your body, Jim but the floor of the bridge just isn't the best place to begin a romance!' Although he didn't speak the words aloud, he could see that Jim understood what he was thinking. “Next time you get to wear the damn dress and I’ll be the dashing hero,” he grumbled gruffly before surrendering to the inevitable and yanking Jim down into another kiss. “I love you,” he mumbled against Jim’s lips.

 

The smile Jim gave Bones’ could have powered the Enterprise for a year. “I love you too, Leonard." He wiggled his eyebrows seductively. "Do you think you could keep the dress?”

 

“No!” and before Jim could unleash his pout once again, Bones pulled him into a kiss, this time to silence him. He instinctively knew that if he didn't Jim would begin talking about all the fantasies he was having of Bones in a dress.

 

Grinning, Jim mentally filed away the idea of making sure he hid the dress for later; 'if Bones won’t wear it, I guess I can!' He focused on kissing Bones again; after all, nothing mattered but the man in his arms. They had finally gotten their happy ending and Jim was going to do everything in his power to show Bones just how much he loved him every chance he got.

 

The End


End file.
